I've moved :(

I've decided to move my blog to wordpress. It seems like a way cooler sight--at least it will be when I figure out how to use it! Please join me at jenivere.wordpress.com. And thanks again for checking in!

Oh Winter

The first snowfall of the season is upon us and I simply cannot contain myself. How do I love Thee Snow? Let me count the ways...

I love the fresh clean blanket that makes everything oh so pretty. I'm always attracted to the "white on white" rooms in my decorating magazines. Even though I could never live with it (for practicality) I always think the rooms are so pretty.

All the snowflakes, large and small, hanging around in the air: not in a hurry and not knowing where they will eventually land.

Cold weather means hot drinks. And who doesn't love a hot drink? I take a sip of my hot chocolate and I can feel the warmth slowly fill my chest and stomach. Mmmmm...for a short moment all my worries melt away.

Warm hugs, comfy sweaters, cozy blankets, crackling fires, puffy coats, simmering soups, flickering candles and oversize pillowy chairs. Hmmmm...


Welcome back Winter. I missed you.

If you had strolled past my house this afternoon you would have seen this through the window:



It sort of happened by accident this morning and IT FELT AMAZING!!! (The video wasn't an accident...I did that just for you ;) I need to do this more often...everyone should do this more often! So I'm putting this rather silly video out there in hopes that it will inspire all of us to "let go" a little more often.

Enjoy your day!

Ummm...gross!

I was cleaning some things out of my fridge today and I came across some abandoned Heinz Peas and Carrots. Now let me clarify that I have mostly avoided the store-bought baby food in favor of making my own. But on this particular occasion we were at Ikea and had forgotten food for Ephram and they had this Heinz stuff so we gave it a go. For the record...he wouldn't touch the stuff and ate crackers for lunch that day!

That was 5 months ago. And today when I opened the jar (which has been living in my fridge since that fateful day) it still smelled, looked and tasted the same as it did 5 months ago! I'm so glad I never fed Ephram that crap.

And a note to Heinz: you'll NEVER convince me that the only ingredient aside from peas and carrots is water!!!

Deconstructing Faith

I started attending a ladies Bible study at our church once a week. The book we're reading is "Extraordinary Faith" by Sheila Walsh. And though my ever-looming cynicism has been present during this read...it has started some wonderful conversations about faith. And the cloud of Christian cliches and misconceptions is beginning to clear.

I've always clung to the saying "God will not give you more than you can handle" but I'm learning that this is not Biblical at all! I love what this beautiful woman said about handling things. When we experience suffering, the idea that we're supposed to be able to "handle" it seems to only pile on guilt to add to our suffering! What a freeing thought to realize that its not up to me to "handle" anything. Rather, I'm to focus on God...to fix my eyes solidly on him and not look away. And in the midst of terrible suffering, that is all we can do. We choose to believe, and whatever "faith" exists in our situation is God working in the situation -- not us. I tried so hard to "have faith" when I lost our first child. I tried so hard to be "honest" and to "face" my pain. And its only now that I'm beginning to realize what denial I was in!! I even wrote an article for our Student Wives' Newsletter about how I didn't know I could be this faithful...what arrogance!! In a fit of tears and helplessness I realized that I wanted "faithfulness" to be on me, because then when there's a screw up, it would make sense...b/c I'm not perfect. It seems that being "faithful" is a very helpless (not hopeless) position. Trusting God even though all this crap is happening? Ummm, OK...what does that even mean?

If I truly unload all the cliches, expectations, and guilt...I find myself sitting on the floor in the midst of a pile of stinky crap -- either looking at God or looking away. That is the real choice of faith...to choose to believe or not to believe. And even in my "belief" there is unbelief and only with God's grace and help can I have any faith/belief. And when I was sitting there, with my hand resting on my empty womb, I looked away. And that is the moment I got lost. That is where all hope was lost and I couldn't believe -- because I was trying to do something that only God could do. And our beautiful loving God reached down and with his tender hand lifted my chin until I was looking at Him and spoke Truth and Love into my heart. "Faith is not about us. It is about God in us." (Walsh)

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! ...Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it." --Isaiah 30:18,21

Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness stretches to the skies
Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains
Your justice flows like the ocean's tide

I will lift my voice to worship you my King
I will find my strength in the shadow of your wing

Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens
Your faithfulness stretches to the skies

AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!

Though I've sat down here and even signed into blogger multiple times this week, events, health and mental sanity have conspired against me. Don't give up on me though, I have MUCH to say (don't I always?? :)


I'll be back soon.

We've entered the next phase

Ephram is MUCH more mobile now. We haven't been able to get any footage of him crawling (b/c he won't do it when we're watching) but he did display a bunch of his other cute activities so...for your enjoyment:

Say good-bye to organized Tupperware!